Guten Tag,
I had this great plan for a long, epic, beautiful, majestic, melodic, and effervescent, message that rhymed and all kinds of other things. But, uh, but it’s not happening. Am I lazy? Sure, but that’s not why.
It’s…
Oh Gosh, I don’t want to say this.
It’s…
Seriously? Do you people really need to know this much about my life? I mean, it’s my life! C’mon!
Fine!
It’s because my rhymulator is broken. I was working it the other day, spitting some sweet lines while baking a delicious butter pecan turnip loaf, and it just pooped right out! How did I know? I tried to come up with a rhyme for “My rhymulator just pooped out!” but I couldn’t. Do you know how hard that is for me? Do you know how much that hurts?
I spent the rest of the night holding my pained stomach as I tried to digest uncooked butter, pecans, and turnip. It hurt so bad. It also didn’t help that when the rhymulator pooped, it pooped out a solid gold watch into the batter and I tried to eat that too. I also ate three enchiladas, a Cornish game hen, some chalk, and a 1968 copy of time magazine. You know the Joe Clark issue? I think he carried that bat right into my guts. Don’t believe me? Peruse that cover! http://www.time.com/time/covers/0,16641,19880201,00.html
In you face!
Oh man, I’m having a chalk fever. I’m in a turnip haze. I’ve gotta stop this and go lay down. But not as a cure for my sickness. The only cure is to listen to my radio show tonight on CFRU 93.3fm http://www.cfru.ca
The website is working again, so please stream it online if you can. Every little bit saves my life. 10pm-12am. It’ll be awesome.
I just can’t handle dying again. I can’t. I’m still paying off the bills from the last time. Have you ever gone to a bank to explain why you need a Death Loan? They look at you like you’re crazy! Ha ha…and then they kick you out of the bank.
from andrew
that was gross